Monday, December 31, 2007

Shell Citibank Credit Card - A Cash Draining Card

Are you fancy of getting a credit card that offers 5% rebate on shell petrol and 1.5% rebate on other purchases? If your answer is yes, then you are draining your money away! The newly launched Shell Citibank credit card is not as good as its sounds - to enjoy the rebate, you must have a carry forward balance.

Yes, a carry forward balance that you have to pay Citibank 18% interest per annum. But that's is not all, your so called 'rebate' is based on your current month spending. That means if you have a carry forward of RM10,000 but did not use the card at all for the current month, you get 'zero' rebate. To be precise, this 'rebate' card is an old card - it has been around for about 2 years. But now taking advantage of the fuel cost concern, Citibank co-branded it with Shell.

This is how the rebate scheme works: · First, you need to have a carry forward balance. The amount of that carry forward determines the rebate rate (%) that the card holder is getting.
· Then based on your current month spend, you will get the rebate (as shown by the rebate table above) - your rebate is not based on your total carry forward balance. Repeat: your rebate is not based on your total carry forward balance, but current month spending. In short, to get your 'rebate' you must have at least of RM2,000 outstanding balance in you card AND continue use the card. The outstanding balance is the net of previous month balance minus current month payment.

If you do that, every month you will be paying RM30.00, or RM360 a year for the minimum RM2,000 outstanding balance. Let's do a simple math here:

If you spend RM500/mth on shell petrol and your classic card has a RM2,000 outstanding balance, at 1.5%, you are getting RM7.50 as 'rebate', while at the same time, paying RM30.00 for the interest. The 'nett' profit for Citibank is RMRM22.50.

Your are essentially "over paying" 4 times the price (30/7.5) To 'break even' (so that your RM30.00 interest payment = rebate value), you need to pump RM2,000 shell petrol a month, or charge RM6,000 a month for non-shell related purchases.

The USD100.00 per barrel of crude oil won't kills you, but the Citi-Shell card will.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Amway India : With soap in their hands and hope in their hearts

Bangalore Magazine
Ramjee Chandran
30 April 2002

Bangalore: According to the local office of Amway India, about six thousand five hundred Bangaloreans have already signed up to become Amway salespersons.
These 6,500 people have paid the USA-owned Amway Corp. Rs 4,200 each.
6,500 x Rs 4,200 = Rs 3 crores. ( Almost)
Cash up front.
And that's only in Bangalore.
A Bangalore company probably can't raise this kind of money in the stock market in these days of tight money conditions. But Amway did. Without advertising. Without the great dollops of press coverage that even the launch of a new whisky usually generates. It's all word of mouth, we are told. Word from the mouths of people living abroad who have been told by Amway to call their kith, kin and caboodle in India.
Word is also out to spam you on the internet. Spam is unsolicited promotional material - junk mail on the Net. Word is out to send you cheap postcards. Calling, writing, faxing or spamming people in India to tell them of the good news. The good news is that they have the means to 'help' you to change your life. To 'own your business'. To 'earn your freedom'. To 'not just get a life, but get a lifestyle'.
The subliminal message is: Stop being a loser. Whatever you've been doing with your life, it is worth less than what you can do as an Amway salesperson.
When I put this last proposition across to an Amway sales person, his response was this: "You've hit the nail on the head. You're right. That is the case."
He explained further: "You don't have to give up your publishing business (thank god!). Use your spare time profitably. What do you do when drive to work? Nothing! What do you do in the evenings? Watch TV? Pah!"
Right through this entire opening phase, something nagged me. There was no mention of what Amway did. What was the 'word' that this guy kept talking about. What was Amway selling?
I asked him. "The dream, my man," he replied his face aglow "the dream. Amway is not selling you anything. Amway is giving you a 'business opportunity' you cannot beat."
The 'business opportunity' to do what?" I asked, still confused.
"The opportunity to use world class products. The opportunity to get others to use world class products. The opportunity to change your life."
"What world class products?"
"Only the best."
"Name one product."
"Many products. 10,000 products. From shampoo to Chrysler cars!"
"I can buy Chrysler cars in Bangalore?"
"Not yet. But the day will come. Maybe not Chrysler cars but maybe Marutis."
"I can buy a Maruti through Amway?"
"Of course! When they tie up the deal."
"What deal?"
"The Distribution deal. If Maruti is smart, they will understand that in a few years, only multi-level marketing will survive. Even Bill Gates said it. The end of retail selling is here. Amway will overtake them. By the year 2000, no one will buy anything from shops."
"Which shops?"
"Any shop. Every shop."
"Nilgiris, Shoppers' Stop, Folio and Bata will all close down?"
"Yes, of course." He sounded a little exasperated. Then he became paternal. He employed the tone one uses to talk to a friend's child. "Are you aware of Amway?"
"Yes," I replied "I have read everything they gave another salesman like yourself. And I went to an Amway meeting."
"Then you have learned nothing, my friend, nothing! You must have spoken to the wrong person. The world is going to change. Haven't I already told you that retail selling is dead?"
I did not give up. "Where is this place where they stock 10,000 products. I'd like to see it for myself."
"Well, it's not 10,000 products yet. But it will get there."
"How many products do they have right now?"
"That's immaterial. You're just being pedestrian."
"Tell me how many products do they have?"
"Six."
"Six of what?"
"Detergents, a great Liquid Organic Cleaner which you can pour into your plants after cleaning the floors and Dish Drops which will make your glassware shine like anything!"
Before I could speak, he added: "They also have a lotion and a shampoo. But why am I telling you all this. The point is not the products but the opportunity. No matter what the products are, the opportunity will make you lots of money. And then you can retire. What is needed is not for us to quibble about details. We - you, me and everybody - must do all we can to make this succeed."
Then, totally pickled in his own sales pitch, he began to shout: "GET OFF THE POT! GET ON THE PHONE, MAN, AND SPREAD THE WORD!! USE YOUR MAGAZINES AND TELL LAKHS OF PEOPLE THE GOOD NEWS!!!"
So I got off the pot, picked up my phone and began to research the story.

How it works
Amway's operations rest on what is called Multi Level Marketing (or MLM). It has been called 'network marketing', 'pyramid selling' (a phrase that inspires vitriol among Amway types). It has also been compared to a chain letter or the buying of a lottery ticket.
How it works is both simple and complicated at the same time.
You try and sign up others as fellow Amway distributors. You get commissions on whatever they buy. You also get commissions on the purchases made by the people whom they in turn sign up as Amway distributors.
The more people you sign up, the more they will buy. The more they buy, the more money you will make.

How to become a millionaire
Now I will explain the 9-6-3 scheme because every Amway distributor talked about this.
Having signed up, you get 9 people to sign up. Next, each of the nine people gets 6 people to sign up. Then, each of those 6 people gets 3 people to sign up.
Here's the calculation:
You = 1.
You x 9 = 9 people.
9 x 6 = 54.
54 x 3 = 162.
Total = 226 Amway distributors in your group.
If you achieve this target, you no longer 'belong' to someone else's group. You become a 'direct'.
The next assumption is that each of these 226 people in your group will buy an average of Rs 1,500 worth of Amway products every month.
226 x Rs 1,500 = Rs 3,39,000 per month.
For every Rs 1,500 worth of product purchase you get 50 PV (Point Value). It works out to about 3.34% of the value of products bought. For every PV you get a commission. It's called 'bonus'.
There is a (telescopic) slab system to determine your bonus.
The lower the quantity of purchase, the lower the commission.
Till you reach the level of 200 PV (that's Rs 6,000 worth of goods), you get no bonus. With 200 PVs, your earnings (bonus for that month), will be Rs 180. When you (together with your group) buy Rs 15,000 worth of products, you will get 500 PV. Your bonus on this will still be 3% and your personal income will be Rs 450 per month less whatever is to be shared with the others in the group.
If you and your group members buy Rs 3.39 lakhs worth of Amway products every month, you will earn 11,300 PV. Your bonus on this will be 21% and you will earn Rs 71,190.00. After sharing your bonus with the others in your group, you will be left with Rs 40,500.

Amway Products vs. Other Products
1. G&H Body Lotion, 250 ml, Rs. 316.00
Nivea Lotion, 250 ml, Rs. 110.00
2. Satinique (shampoo & cond.) 250 ml, Rs. 314.00
Sunsilk (shampoo & conditioner) 250 ml, Rs. 85.00
3. Dishdrops (1 litre =4 litres), Rs. 420.00
Godrej Concentrate (1 litre=4 litres). Rs. 64.00
4. SeeSpray Concentrate, (1 litre=4 litres) Rs. 290.00
Colin Glass & Household Cleaner, 4 litres, Rs. 252.00
5. Amway Zoom Concentrate, 1 litre, Rs. 299.00
Robin Cuffs N Collars, 1 litre Rs. 128.75
6. LOC High Suds Organic Cleaner,
(1 litre=167 litres) Rs. 322.00
Teepol, 5.5 litres=167 litres, Rs. 352

(NOTE: I could not work out a way for people to spend
Rs. 1500 a month without wasting the product.)


At this level, the bottom 162 people in your group make no bonuses at all because their PV is less than 200, having bought only Rs 1,500 worth of product. However, you have nothing to worry about. You will make bonuses on their purchases because their PVs are counted in your tally.
Remember, you will earn this Rs 40,500 a month only:
1) IF you get to sign up 226 people;
2) IF you make sure that each and every one of the 226 people buy Rs 1,500 worth of products EVERY MONTH; and
3) IF every one of these 226 people has the ability and the desire to pay Amway prices (see box) because Amway makes the claim that their products are 'world class'.
When you get 226 people in your group, you become a 'direct'. Your commission drops to 4% on the purchases of the group.
Then what? Then you go sign up more and more people if you want to make more money.
If you want to become a millionaire, you will need to sign up several hundreds of people and have them all buy more Amway products.
If you are the poor sod at the bottom of the heap, you will be told 'if you work hard' you can sign up hundreds, why thousands, of people from anywhere in the world to become Amway distributors and that, by 'working hard', you can beat the odds and become a millionaire.
(When you become a millionaire - by 'working hard' in your spare time - you can buy the BMW they kept showing you in the promotional videos - the one that had the stereotype honey-blonde draped over the dude who was playing golf.)
You are also being told that if you aren't making nice dollops of money, it is because you aren't 'working hard'.
The definition of 'working hard' is to get as many people as you can to pay Amway Rs 4,200 to become distributors.
There's another way. That is to sell products door-to-door or person-to-person. You could do that too. There should be nothing to stop you from lining up outside apartment buildings with the dabba distributors of Bangalore (see photo) and sell Amway shampoo for Rs 315. You could also be posh and invite the ladies of your kitty party for tea and then sign them up or sell them shampoos or detergents.

The positive side to Amway
Let me say that the above is the positive side to Amway. That is, the chance to make money.
It is the chance to get oneself involved in a trade as a side business, specially if one is trying to recover from a failed (or failing business) or one has lost one's job. To the extent that a few people will surely make money, the system works.
Alas, that's not where the story ends.
Because for every one who makes money, there will necessarily many who do not.
Indeed, as I went along from Amway distributor to Amway distributor, I found myself vastly better informed than most of them, with the exception of one articulate couple. They spent over 2 hours with me, explaining the nitty gritty of the commission structure, despite reservations. I thank them for this. In direct contrast was my experience with the people at Amway's nice office on Airport Road. (See box below.)


Hiding from questions
I spent 2 hours in the Amway office on Airport Road. The administrative manager, Arijit Mitra turned out to be extremely personable and a gentleman.
However, he did say that he would not be able to answer any questions about the details of the scheme and indeed, he wanted to know why I wanted to write an in-depth story. His colleague, a lady that distributors speak to, first told me that she would come back in 10 minutes and then she vanished from plain sight.
After one and a half hours, there was no sign of her and Mitra kept me engaged. Then another lady came out and told me that she was 'very busy'. I told her I would wait indefinitely. Then Mitra reappeared from the bowels of the Amway office and looked apologetic. He said his colleague would not meet me because she did not want to meet me. He explained that she was not 'authorised to talk to the press'.
I tried to ask him to tell Vinitha not to hide inside the building and that my questions were very simple. But no dice. I never got to ask questions of the very person who was qualified to answer them. Then I asked Mitra to call her superior (Gowri Someone) in Delhi so I could talk to her. He did. He told me that she had told him the same thing.
Mitra asked me to go to Delhi and speak to someone called Steven Beddoe. He said there was no one in Bangalore who was authorised to talk to the press. I asked Mitra why Amway had people in Bangalore who were authorised to take money from Bangaloreans but no one who could be accountable for this.
Mitra had no answer.



The underside of Amway
My basic problem with Amway is that I believe that the success of some is dependent on the failures of others. That is:
1. Amway will make money; and
2. Some distributors will make money; but
3. Both will do so at the expense of the many who may not.
And those who don't will probably be middle income people for whom Rs 4,200 is a major piece of investment. (My accountant spends less on school fees for his two children for the whole year.)
As a quick aside, let me quote the 'zero sum theory'. For those who might not know it, this is a theory propounded by the famous economist, Lester Thurow. His book 'The Zero Sum Society' explains it in detail with a lot of econometric models. It will take me over a 100 pages to go into all that. Basically, Thurow said that for every person who has made a certain amount of profit, someone else has made an equivalent amount of loss.
This is like the horse races. Any Turf Club will make money. A small number of bettors will make money. (One of them will hit the jackpot.) The only way that the Turf Club can make someone rich is because thousands of hopefuls lose their bets and their money. It is the losers' money which is collected and passed on to the lucky ones. The lottery works in pretty much the same way.
I am not saying that Amway is like a horse race or a lottery. But the overall money movement and the odds of someone becoming rich are startlingly similar.
This is better explained with numbers.
Remember how many people you need to sign up? I'll remind you - 225.
If you must get 226 people (including you) to sign up, then consider this.
6,500 people (in Bangalore alone) have already signed up.
Each one of them hopes he or she will make a lot of money.
It is reasonable to expect that if one Amway distributor stands a chance of becoming a millionaire, then every Amway distributor should stand an equal chance of becoming a millionaire. Otherwise it is exactly like a horse race.
So, if all 6,500 people adhere to the 9-6-3 formula, then hold on to your hat when you read this.
6,500 x 9 = 58,500 Amway distributors
58,500 x 6 = 3,51,000 Amway distributors
3,51,000 x 3 = 10,53,000 Amway distributors.
That's Ten Lakhs Fifty Three Thousand (or 1.053 million) Amway distributors for the city of Bangalore.
An employee of Bata Shoe Company, (the masters of retail selling), told me they employ about 30,000 sales people in their 1,500 stores across the nation. 30,000 Bata sales people for the whole of India. 10,53,000 Amway sales people only for Bangalore.
The standard response to this is that all these Amway salespersons are not necessarily going to be in Bangalore. You can pick up the phone and call someone anywhere else in the world.
Therefore, you can call your cousin in Ooty and tell her the 'good news'. She pays Rs 4,200, then she will call her nephew in Raichur who will pay Rs 4,200 and he will call someone else who will pay Rs 4,200 and so on. All this is done in the hope that more sign-ups mean more people will buy Amway products.
So if not 10,53,000 Amway sales people, how many will actually operate in Bangalore? Let's hazard a guess. Half ... 5 lakh salespeople? 2 lakh sales people? 1 lakh sales people? Will there be any left at all?
Two days after my visit to the Amway office I received a call from the Amway HQ in Delhi, from Steven Beddoe, GM, Distributor Services. He told me that the numbers would never grow to what I have mentioned above. Because I persisted, Beddoe suggested that the possible number of Amway distributors in Bangalore would be about 1.67% of the middle class population.
Bangalore's population is about 5.2 million. Of this let's be conservative and say that 25% are middle-class. That is 1.3 million of which 1.67% (21,710) would be Amway distributors. Beddoe reacted again. He said he didn't think that the total number of Amway distributors would be that many. (He even said that the number was less for a certain South Asian country.)
I asked him if that number could be as low as 10,000. He said that was a possibility. (10,53,000 to 10,000 and we still don't have a number.)
Then the chances of people making money is slashed because Amway themselves are suggesting that each person will sign up less than 2 other people on an average. Therefore, if some of them manage to sign up 226 people, many others won't sign up people at all.
And if you divide this number - 10,000, into groups of 226, then the total number of 'directs' in Bangalore will be 44.
10,000 - 44 = 9,956 Amway distributors who do not stand the chance of becoming 'directs'. Who will be among the lucky 44?
You?
I asked Beddoe to help me with this puzzle and apart from giving me philosophical discourse, he couldn't address the matter of numbers. All he said was that Amway distributors should sign up more and more people.
Which brings me to me to my next thought.

Why Amway will make money even if you don't
Another interesting calculation: If 1.05 million people sign up, Amway will receive Rs 4,422 million (Rs 442.26 crores or US$ 110.55 million) in up-front cash from this 'cash rich' country.
They will have earned all this money without having sold a single one of their very expensive products.

What is a pyramid scheme?
China recently banned direct selling. The Chinese government defended its move on the basis that direct selling operations like Amway can easily turn into 'pyramid scheme' operations without thorough regulation.
In a typical pyramid scheme, people are obliged to buy over-priced products which they cannot return. The only way that the company makes money is by bringing more and more people into the network. The company makes money on their initial sign up fees.
Such companies would not care if products are not sold, since the pressure to move products rests with the 'distributors'. The distributors also are motivated to sign up more and more people because that's the only way they can move any products.
The danger of the pyramid scheme is that those who join later in the scheme are stuck at the bottom of the pyramid and have very little chances of making any money. But no one wants to believe that he is at the bottom of the pyramid. And the effort to sign up people far exceeds the motivation to sell products from door to door.
The Federal Trade Commission of the USA ruled that Amway was not a pyramid. The basis for its decision was that Amway encourages its distributors to sell products at a retail level. But The Advocate newspaper in the US reported that these rules are not enforced, followed, in fact, not even monitored.
Suggesting that Amway is a pyramid scheme evokes considerable ire among Amway people. All of them parrot the standard Amway comeback that every corporation is a pyramid. The guy at the top makes more money than the bloke at the bottom. But in a commercial operation, that is any company, nobody takes money from all the employees as Amway does from all its salespeople.



Then, by some chance, if all these people actually manage to spend Rs 1,500 a month on products, Amway will giggle into their bank manager's sleeves having earned another Rs 18,954 million (Rs 1,895.40 crores or US$ 473.85 million) on sales every year.
Surely, the numbers I have outlined above are absurd. No one supposes that Amway will turn this kind of money around. But the significant thing is that these calculations are based on Amway's numbers, not mine.
I seek to demonstrate from these numbers that no matter how many Amway sales people there are and how much they buy every month (even if they do not buy anything), Amway stands to make a lot of money from the initial sign up fees.
Because, for Rs 4,200, you get about Rs 2,000 worth of products. (It means they have sold Rs 2,000 worth of products for Rs 4,200) The rest, they say, goes towards giving you a 'business opportunity'.
In addition Beddoe informed me that each year, distributors will have to 'renew their contract. He wouldn't confirm the exact amount they will have to pay, but said it would be in the region of Rs 1,200. So, the existing 6,500 people will give their American masters a revenue of Rs 78 lakhs a year ... money for jam.
One Amway distributor told me that if he did not buy products worth at least Rs 1,500 every six months, he would be bounced out of the system. One Amway employee denied this. Another distributor said that the distributor I spoke to was 'a bullshitter'. (Frankly, I found it difficult to establish who should be believed.)
If this is true, Amway stands to make about Rs 2 crores a year from this minimum performance requirement.
Add to this the number of others (in the entire country) who may have signed up and your guesstimate on Amway's profits is as good as mine. They could recover more than their entire capital cost in a quick manner with a hefty profit to boot, without any heartburn about selling products. If they were keen on selling products, they would appoint a number of sales agents.
(Courtesy: Bangalore Magazine and www.angelfire.com)

British Government seeks to close Amway

From The Times
November 27, 2007
Marketing group merely ‘selling a dream’
David Brown
The British subsidiary of one of the world’s biggest marketing groups was accused yesterday of breaking company law by “selling a dream” of unachievable wealth.
Amway, which had 39,000 selling agents in Britain during 2005-06, is “inherently objectionable”, operates as a lottery and is trading unlawfully, the Companies Court was told.
Mark Cunningham, QC, on behalf of John Hutton, the Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform, told the court that the Government was seeking to wind up Amway in the public interest following an investigation into its business practices.
The allegations are seriously damaging to the international group, which claims to have a worldwide salesforce of more than three million people and a turnover of $6.4 billion (£3.2 billion).
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The Government investigation claims to have revealed that just 10 per cent of Amway’s agents in Britain make any profit, with less than one in ten selling a single item of the group’s products. It claims that Amway’s main activity is encouraging other people to join its salesforce so that they pay the registration fee and buy marketing materials.
Mr Cunningham said that Amway attracted new agents, known as Independent Business Owners (IBOs), by offering “substantial financial rewards or easy money”. He said that promise of wealth was “illusionary” and amounted to “dream selling”.
The group, which has been operating in Britain since 1973, claims that agents can earn a substantial income from selling its range of dietary supplements, cosmetics, jewellery and water purifiers. They are also offered bonuses for recruiting other agents. However, an investigation by the Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform showed that only 6 per cent of agents bought Amway products to sell on, the court was told.
Mr Cunningham said that the vast majority of products offered by Amway to its agents were overpriced even before they were expected to add a further 20 to 25 per cent for retail. “The unattractive pricing explains some the graver vices that are at the centre of the winding-up application,” Mr Cunningham said.
Agents were encouraged to buy instructions on how to grow their businesses by attracting new agents. The material contained images of success such as luxury cars, boats and foreign holidays.
Mr Cunningham told the court: “The prospect of substantial rewards and easy money has been at all times, and remains, illusionary.”
The investigation discovered that 71 per cent of agents made no income from Amway in the year 2005-06 and that 90 per cent had made a loss after paying the £18 fee to renew their registration. In fact, just 101 of the agents shared 75 per cent of the bonuses.
“The reality of being an IBO is that a substantial majority make minimal financial returns,” Mr Cunningham said. “Our case is founded on the selling of the dream on one hand and the loss or minimal financial return on the other.”
Mr Cunningham told the court that Amway operates a “pernicious” scheme, which encourages agents to recruit family, friends and colleagues to the group so that they themselves could move up to “that very narrow group that makes any money”.
He said that the Amway scheme involved targeting the “gullible”, “deluded” and “vulnerable” to join the scheme and accused the group of “dream selling.”
“Amway presents itself to be life changing and life enhancing – if you choose to participate,” Mr Cunningham told the court. “The millions of aspirational achievers, the idea that this is a success in global terms – we will show otherwise.”
One marketing presentation authorised by Amway offered the opportunity for a “small secondary income or an income which would rank in the top 2 per cent of money earners.” It added that such money “is being achieved in the same time it takes to study for a degree”.
However, Amway’s own records showed that only Trevor and Jackie Lowe, and Jerry and Mandy Scriven among its agents earned more than the £78,000 required to place them in the top 2 per cent of earners, the court was told. The records showed that it takes at least 14 years to make it into the top 20. The top 12 new joiners since 2001 earned an average of just £164 a week, said Mr Cunningham. The “snapshot” of Amway’s records showed that of the 25,000 agents operating at that time, just 37 made more than £25,000 a year.
Amway has claimed that it has substantially changed it business model since the department lodged its petition to wind up the company in April. Richard De Vos, who founded the group in the United States in 1959, has an estimated personal fortune of $3.6billion.

Countdown
39,000 agents working for Amway

27,000 (71%) had no income

11,410 (30%) earned something

7,492 (of the 11,410) received average of £13.53 per year

101 agents received 75 per cent of bonuses

£116K paid to top earner Trevor Lowe

26 number of years Mr Lowe was an agent

Source: Evidence at companies court hearing

Thursday, December 13, 2007

google360ed24ce9d67b8c.html

Friday, December 7, 2007

Golden Compass




Based on author Philip Pullman's bestselling and award-winning novel, The Golden Compass tells the first story in Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. The Golden Compass is an exciting fantasy adventure, set in an alternative world where people's souls manifest themselves as animals, talking bears fight wars, and Gyptians and witches co-exist. At the center of the story is Lyra (played by newcomer Dakota Blue Richards), a 12-year-old girl who starts out trying to rescue a friend who's been kidnapped by a mysterious organization known as the Gobblers - and winds up on an epic quest to save not only her world, but ours as well. The Golden Compass stars an ensemble cast that includes Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Sam Elliott, and Ian McShane. The film is written and directed by Chris Weitz (About A Boy, Antz) and produced by Deborah Forte and Bill Carraro (Frequency).

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Magician







Google












A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, It's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's' parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... and then 2 days ... and then 3 days.Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"OK, I give up. Where's the f#ckin' ship?"

Sunday, November 18, 2007

When Gal meets Guy‏

This is an interesting article....

Title: Young and pretty lady wishes to marry a rich guy. Fantastic reply from a financial person

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty


Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me

signed, J.P. Morgan

Saturday, November 10, 2007

US article on investing

Getting rich on a $20,000 salary
This 69-year-old parking-lot attendant used earnings from odd jobs to start investing. Now he coaches others on how they can invest.

Earl Crawley, 69, better known as Mr. Earl, earns $20,000 a year as a parking-lot attendant. But he has amassed a stock portfolio worth more than $500,000.

How did you get started investing?

Soon after I started working for Mercantile Bank in Baltimore 44 years ago, one of the bankers took me aside and told me I didn't have enough education to go very far at the bank. He suggested I invest in stocks.

Where did you get the money?

I did it with good old-fashioned nickels and dimes. My mother taught me how to budget, which made me appreciate how a little money can grow. I saved what I could from odd jobs, such as lawn cutting and window washing, that I did in addition to my day job. I used that money to buy one share of IBM (IBM, news, msgs)stock back in 1981, which cost $400.

How did you learn how to invest?

I really didn't know enough to be scared. In school I was considered a slow learner -- dyslexic, it's called now. My true gift from God is my ability to listen,and that's how I'm able to ask questions and use tips from the brokers, financial planners and bank customers I see every day.

Do you have a formula for picking stocks?

When I first started out, I had to be conservative and take my time because I couldn't afford to lose money.Now I look for companies with stability that pay dividends. I read the stock pages but don't claim to know everything about them. I have a broker, but many times I'll go where my spirit leads me.

Any stocks you're excited about now?

I've been buying shares of ExxonMobil (XOM, news,msgs).

We've heard that you're helping others invest.I started an investment club at my church. And I've been coaching a couple of young men, such as bar-and-grill cook Antawn Davenport and Dana Mouse Smith, who toured with the late rapper Tupac Shakur.They can help spread the message that people can do whatever they set their minds to do.

Crawley was interviewed by David Benjamin for Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine.

While house prices were soaring, fueled by low interest rates and risky borrowing practices, wages barely kept pace with inflation.

An Associated Press analysis of new census data provides insight into the reasons for the slumping housing market: Since 1990, homeowners have faced a growing gap between their incomes and the price oftheir homes.

The widening gap in all but a handful of the nation's500 largest cities helped make the recent boom in housing prices unsustainable, according to analysts.The rising prices were fueled largely by low interest rates and risky borrowing, rather than increasing incomes.

"We had an artificial economy," said Brad Geisen,founder of Foreclosure. com, a Web site that lists foreclosure properties. "There was all this wealth created in real estate, and it wasn't really created.

"Nationally, the median household income grew by about 60% from 1990 to 2006, roughly matching inflation. At the same time, the median home value -- the point at which half were more and half were less -- more than doubled, to $185,200.

The gap between incomes and home values was even bigger in many cities. For example, incomes in Miami roughly kept pace within flation -- meaning they were effectively stagnant --while the median home value quadrupled, to $315,900. In places such as Bend, Ore., and North Las Vegas,Nev., incomes about doubled, but home values increased fivefold.

Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody's Economy.com,likened the current housing market to the dot-com boom and bust a few years ago, when stock prices for many high tech companies soared -- before some of them ever turned a profit -- and then crashed."The parallels are quite similar," Zandi said. The Census Bureau today released 2006 housing data forevery state, county, metro area and city with a population of at least 65,000. Income data were released last month.

Together, the figures provide a snapshot of the nation's economy just as housing prices were peaking in many areas. Since then, housing prices have decreased in many markets, fueled by a crisis in the subprime loan market and dwindling credit even forsome wealthier borrowers.

Long-term trends converge
The AP compared the 2006 figures with data from the1990 Census for the 499 cities that were included in both reports, providing an analysis of long-term trends that helped create today's housing slump. The analysis showed that homeowners in nearly every city are spending significantly bigger shares of their incomes on housing costs. From 1990 to 2006, the share spent on housing costs increased in all but 13 of the cities examined. Nationally, the share increased from 21% to nearly 25% for homeowners with a mortgage.

Many of the cities with large increases in home values were fast-growing cities or places with thriving economies. However, there were also large disparities in incomes and home values in some distressed cities,mainly because incomes effectively dropped.

Home ownership rates are among historic highs, at 67.3% nationally. And booming home values have increased wealth for many families, allowing them touse the equity in their homes to take out second and third mortgages to finance home improvements, pay for college or buy automobiles.

Dreams on hold
But many others who bought at the height of the market will have a harder time realizing their financial dreams.

Shawn Talbot and Gerry Woodruff bought a three-story condominium just outside San Diego in 2005, hoping to stay for about three years before trading up to a single-family home.

They were first-time homebuyers, paying $431,000 and financing it with two loans. They didn't have a downpayment, but they hoped the value would increase enough to give them a sizable one for their next house.

That dream is now on hold, as the market value of their condo is in flux. The couple both have good-paying jobs -- Talbot works for a trade association and Woodruff is a financial analyst for an aerospace company. But the median home value in San Diego was $579,000 in 2006, among the most expensive in the country.

"Houses out here are almost like a 401(k)," Talbot said in a telephone interview. "It grows and grows until you get older and you need it.

"But a year or so ago all that changed," she said."I'm not sure we will ever be able to afford a single-family home in San Diego."

Source : msn

Monday, November 5, 2007

Leave Application

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people invarious places of India ..

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it,please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may notreturn, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and anAccountant - Male or Female'...As I am both (!!) for the past several yearsand I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Can a family man with Salary RM3,000 survive in Malaysia

Let's do some simple calculations here.
In Malaysia , the average family income is RM3,000 /month (where father works, mother
doesn't). I understand there are many families whose monthly income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take RM3,000 as the figure. Ok lah, right? Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son.
Ngam-ngam .... Calculation starts...

Electricity and water bill: RM100 (No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater ... ok?)
Phone bill ( Telekom): RM100
Meals for a happy family: RM775 (3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons...?)
Papa makan / teh-tarik during working hrs: RM155 (RM5/day, RM5 ... can eat what?)
Car repayment: RM400(A proton saga aeroback, 7 yrs repayment)
Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300 (go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running)
Insurance: RM650(kids, wife and myself)
House repayment: RM750(low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!)
Tuition: RM80(got that cheap meh? i don't think so)
Older children pocket money @ school: RM20(RM1/day, eat bread?)
School fees: RM30(enough ah?)
School books and etc: RM100(always got extra to pay in school)
Younger children milk powder: RM50(cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive)
Miscellaneous: RM100(shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper)

Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so... No Astro, no movie @ cinema, no DVD, no CD, no online, cannot KFC, cannot McDonald, cannot go Park walk during weekend (petrol expensive), no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and etc... Let's use a calculator to total up... WALAO EH! Shit! RM3,610 already... EPF belum potong, income tax lagi........oledi RM3,610 ...How to survive lah tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian ???
Our Deputy Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle? How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study? Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of rakyat Malaysia which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!! What is this? Inilah Malaysia Boleh... Sorry... it should be Malaysians Boleh , because we're still alive and kicking!! Our politicians must be mad!!!! Please forward and
comment boleh or tak boleh. No wonder so many Ah Loong around......

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Moral vs Science &Technology vs Quality of Life


Looking at our Malaysia today, I can't help but remembering those good
old days I have had 10-20 years back.

1. Back then, worst crimes ever committed were perhaps robberies using
parang instead of guns. Today, we have a person murdered by using a
bomb.
2. Back then, hardly any sexual crimes even when women were wearing
body-tight clothing (if you watch one of those P. Ramlee movies you'll
see what I mean). Today, the MPs are blaming the women for sexual crimes
because they are wearing sexy clothes. Which school/university these MPs
graduated from again?
3. Back then, people are much more relaxed and calm without the horrific
jams and road accidents. Today, you'll risk your precious life if you
just simply honk another vehicle.
4. Back then, people buy what they can afford and settle with lesser and
still be happy. Today, people buy 40" LCD TV even though they cannot
afford it, they still tell me, "I got credit card mah! So stupid!"
5. Back then, we all watch TV and listen to radio. Today we have to
commit crime to watch DVD/VCDs and listen to Audio CDs. I wonder how
come most people in developed countries like the US are still watching
VCRs, but the people in developing country like Malaysia are watching
DVDs. This is truly Malaysia Boleh!
6. Back then, kids used their creativity to create their own games and
still enjoy the game with friends and family. Today, kids play games
alone or have never even seen the face of the other fellow players.
7. Back then, a bowl of noodle costs RM1.20-RM1.50. Today, that exact
same bowl of noodle cause RM2.50-RM3.50 and we are still thinking we
have raised our standard of living.
8. Back then, people boil the water from wells or directly from PBA
water tap and still live 80-90 years old. Today, we have to filter the
water first before we boil the water but live 60-70 years.
9. Back then, when your neighbor cried for help, the whole village will
respond to you and offer their assistance. Today, when you cry for help
and if you are very lucky, 1-2 will respond to offer help.
10. Back then, illiterate people work their way to become
millionaires/billionaires. Today, university graduates work their way to
middle-classed apartment, local cars and a life time of debts!
Take some time to reflect, what is the true meaning of quality of life
to us?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Breeding Bull

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
breeding
bull exhibit.


They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year."


The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said,
"See .. He mated 50 times last year ... once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
"This bull mated 120 times last year.


"The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said,
"That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."


They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in
capital letters,


"THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR".


The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said,
that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said,


"Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

THOSE WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's and 60's / early 70s

Isn't this so true ....
TO ALL THOSE WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's and 60's / early 70s

First, we survived with mothers who had no maids. They cooked /cleaned
while taking care of us at the same time.

They took aspirin, candies floss,fizzy drinks, shaved ice with syrups and
diabetes were rare. Salt added to Pepsi or Coke was remedy for fever.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when
we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention
As children, we would ride with our parents on bicycles/ motorcycles for 2
or 3. Richer ones in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a private taxi was a special treat.

We drank water from the tap and NOT from a bottle.

We would spend hours on the fields under bright sunlight flying our kites,
without worrying about the UV ray which never seem to affect us.

We go to jungle to catch spiders without worries of Aedes mosquitoes.
With mere 5 pebbles (stones) would be a endless game. With a ball (tennis
ball best) we boys would ran like crazy for hours.
We catch guppy in drains / canals and when it rain we swim there.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE
actually worry about being unhygenic.
We ate salty, very sweet & oily food, candies,bread and real butter and
drank very sweet soft sweet coffee/ tea, ice karang, but we weren't
overweight because......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, till streetlights came
on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours repairing our old bicycles and wooden scooters out of
scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem

. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, multiple channels on
cable TV, DVD movies, no surround sound, no phones, no personal computers,
no Internet.WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and we still continued
the stunts.
There were never birthday parties till we are 21,
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and just yelled for them!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

Yet this generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem
solvers and inventors ever!
The past 40years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up
as kids, before the government regulated our lives for our own good.
and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how
brave their parents were.

PS -The big font is because of Long-sightedness or hyperopia at your age

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Join me in stopping global warming!

I signed up to join the Stop Global Warming Virtual March and I encourage you to add your voice as well. Global warming is the most urgent issue of our time and since we are all contributors to global warming pollution we must all be part of the solution. Joining the Virtual March is a first step to joining the movement to demand solutions now.

You can join by visiting: http://www.stopglobalwarming.org

StopGlobalWarming.org's mission is to use the strength of numbers to urge our government to address global warming, and urge businesses to start a new industrial revolution of clean energy that reduces our dependence on oil and helps stop global warming.

Together we can make a difference.

Friday, May 4, 2007

A Wealth of Smarts Does Not Guarantee Actual Wealth

A new analysis of data from a long-term study shows that you don't have
to be smart to be wealthy


Just because you are smart doesn't mean you can balance a checkbook, or
tackle any of the other tasks that might make you wealthy. A detailed
study of 7,000-plus Americans followed since their teen years in the
late 1970s reveals that intelligence provides more earning power but not
necessarily more accumulated wealth. "The smarter you are, the more
income you have," explains economist Jay Zagorsky of Ohio State
University, who analyzed the data. "For wealth, there is no
relationship."
Zagorsky defines wealth as "the difference between a person's assets and
liabilities." So, wealth is income plus home value plus investments
(plus fun, valuable stuff like stamp collections) minus mortgages,
credit card debt and other debts. In 2004 a collection of 7,403
30-something baby boomers answered questions about their financial
status, including whether they had ever maxed out any of their credit
cards, fallen behind in bill payments or declared bankruptcy.
Roughly 9 percent of these folks reported credit cards charged to the
limit, 18 percent had missed at least one bill payment and more than 13
percent had filed for some form of bankruptcy. This same group also
participated in an IQ test in 1980 as part of their enrollment in the
National Longitudinal Survey of Youth. The Armed Services Vocational
Aptitude Battery consists of 10 tests, four of which-word knowledge,
paragraph comprehension, math knowledge and arithmetic reasoning-the
U.S. Department of Defense uses to assess the intelligence of recruits.
Zagorsky used these intelligence scores and compared them with financial
data collected in 2004. For each IQ point, there was a rise in income of
between $202 and $616 annually. (For example, a person with an IQ of 130
earns between $6,000 and $18,500 more per year than a peer of lesser
intelligence.) But this higher yearly income did not translate into
higher wealth. In fact, people with slightly above average intelligence
(105 IQ score) had an average net worth higher than those just a bit
smarter (110 IQ). "There are some very smart people who get into
financial difficulties," Zagorsky notes. "Even smart people don't save."
When Zagorsky controlled for variables like race, education, job status
and even factors like smoking, the gap between IQ and wealth remained
the same. "Why don't smart people do financially better is the next
question to answer," he says, adding that he is completing a follow-up
study examining the relationship between intelligence and saving rates.
And the probability of missing a payment actually increases with IQ
score, he notes.
Explanations are lacking, though Zagorsky speculates it could be
anything from people with higher IQs having a better memory for missed
payments or a predilection for financial risk, among other
possibilities. One thing is clear, however: most of the participants
showed financial savvy from an early age, agreeing to participate in the
armed forces test in exchange for $50.
The bottom line: "If you're an individual with relatively low
intelligence, you shouldn't really believe that you're handicapped in
achieving wealth," Zagorsky says. "Similarly, if you're intelligent, you
shouldn't think you have an advantage in living the rich life."

April 24, 2007
Scientific American.com

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Warren Buffet - Second Richest Man..(Inspiring !!!)

For those who missed his interview on CNBC ...

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

1) Share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says thathe has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
7) He has given his CEO's only two rules.
Rule number 1: do notlose any of your share holder's money.
Rule number 2: Do not forgetrule number 1.
8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.